Something powerful happens when I realize that I’m underestimating myself or when I catch myself spiraling back into a place of insecurity. It’s not a comfortable place to visit, but if I pay attention, there is usually a valuable lesson on the other side. It leaves me wondering how many little messages, or lessons, that I may have missed before finally paying attention. Furthermore, I can’t help but ask myself, “When will you finally get it?”
At this point in my life, I should finally understand that the only person worth fearing is myself. I hold power to build, and then destroy, my relationships, success, dreams, and more. Only I can choose to create a world of insecurity or one in which I am secure. I can’t ditch myself or even pretend to hide. The best I can do is stay vigilant and recognize when I choose to become the victim of my own making. It’s not as easy as it sounds sometimes, and I’ve failed miserably more than once. I recently experienced such an epiphany (again), and after working through it (again), I feel like I’ve already given that part of me more time than it’s worth. Too much time dwelling impedes upon the time overcoming.
The past several days were incredible! I visited a new city (Vancouver) and met many of my EA colleagues for the first time in person. It was a business trip with a clearly defined purpose related to work, but it delivered far more than its planners could have intended.
A part of our training involved interacting with a large group of kids/young adults with various disabilities or handicaps. The term used was “diversability,” which is actually much more appropriate. Diversabilities that included autism, blindness, deafness, down syndrome, immobility, OCD, schizophrenia, and many others. For the most part, they were all kids, and while they all shared diversability, they also shared something else that wasn’t so obvious- strength and passion. They were strong enough to put aside their own “diversability” in pursuit of their passion, which in this case was games.
The kids were visiting EA because they loved games and in many cases, they wanted to make games. My colleagues and I spent 1-2 minutes with each person and then moved to the next. Think of it as a sort of speed dating, but in this case, it was just about getting to know a bit more about each person in the group. Afterward, our EA team worked with several of them to improve their resumes and coach on interviewing. At first, I was uneasy, and even a bit frightened, but by the end, I was inspired.
I learned how silly, or simple, my insecurities really are. The fact is that I’m surrounded by amazing people who invest in my success. The rest is up to me. I can take note of that investment and put it to good use, or I could choose to empower my own insecurities. It is up to me and nobody else. I’m surrounded by people willing to prop me up when I am at my lowest, but it’s impossible for anybody to carry me through life. I couldn’t ask for a better employer than EA. Each member of the team shares a common goal- each other’s success. Outside of work I am blessed with a loving partner, friends, and family.
None of us make it through this life on our own, and I am grateful for those who share mine.
PS – The EA Vancouver Campus is incredible!